As I think about what I'm grateful for, I'm surprised by how different my life is this year than last. So much has changed, and I've brought about all of that change because I've had the space to find my values and power again. And I am oh-so-grateful for that space. Here's what else makes my heart light:
The robins having a little party in my garden today
Being part of the DU community
My students and the lessons they teach me
Milo the nephew dog
My sister Lindsey
My partner Gary
My mom
The clients who make me laugh
The lovely house I live in and the garden that surrounds me
Beads and making pretty baubles
Emily, Shannon, Heather, Amy, and Merry, who have been friends through good times and bad
Having my mentee, Consuelo, in my life
The staff and fellow board members at Smart-Girl
Barack Obama
Music! There was a great series of essays about music on This American Life (a show aired on NPR) last weekend, and one of the people on the show said this: "A chord here... A chord there... And your heart splits open." Yeah.
Blessings upon you.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Keep Your Chin Up
People marvel at my ability to stay positive in the face of the continued rejection that is a normal part of the job search. "What are my options?" I always ask. To wallow in self-pity? To despair? To externalize it and blame it on others? None of those sound very appealing to me. And those qualities certainly aren't very appealing to potential employers.
The last set of interviews was so strange that I had to keep telling myself to keep my chin up, though. First, I wrote the engaging cover letter and convincing resume that showed how my skills matched their needs. Passed that hurdle. They checked my references before even offering an interview. Passed that hurdle. Got an interview.
The first interview was with nine people and was a "you have twenty minutes to answer these questions" scenario. They didn't interact. They took detailed notes the entire time. I, on the other hand, was on it. I was charming. I was smart. I was well spoken.
This was immediately followed by a twenty-minute timed written test. I proved my ability to think on my feet; use technology; assess the need for, develop, and implement an educational program; and write persuasive marketing collateral. I was on it. I knew the material. Writing is one of my many well-honed skills. I work well under pressure. Passed those hurdles. Got the second interview.
OK, I thought, now they'll loosen up and have an actual conversation. Nope. No mention of the previous interview or anything that came before. The second interview was a "you have thirty minutes to answer these questions" scenario. No opportunity for me to ask questions or have a dialogue. At all. Their noses were buried in their papers the entire time. They barely nodded their heads to acknowledge I had spoken before moving on to the next question. I was not as smart or charming or well spoken as before.
Today I got the "no thanks" notice. I was disappointed. And I was relieved. An organization that has no room for conversation or interaction when deciding on the future leader of their organization doesn't have room for me.
The last set of interviews was so strange that I had to keep telling myself to keep my chin up, though. First, I wrote the engaging cover letter and convincing resume that showed how my skills matched their needs. Passed that hurdle. They checked my references before even offering an interview. Passed that hurdle. Got an interview.
The first interview was with nine people and was a "you have twenty minutes to answer these questions" scenario. They didn't interact. They took detailed notes the entire time. I, on the other hand, was on it. I was charming. I was smart. I was well spoken.
This was immediately followed by a twenty-minute timed written test. I proved my ability to think on my feet; use technology; assess the need for, develop, and implement an educational program; and write persuasive marketing collateral. I was on it. I knew the material. Writing is one of my many well-honed skills. I work well under pressure. Passed those hurdles. Got the second interview.
OK, I thought, now they'll loosen up and have an actual conversation. Nope. No mention of the previous interview or anything that came before. The second interview was a "you have thirty minutes to answer these questions" scenario. No opportunity for me to ask questions or have a dialogue. At all. Their noses were buried in their papers the entire time. They barely nodded their heads to acknowledge I had spoken before moving on to the next question. I was not as smart or charming or well spoken as before.
Today I got the "no thanks" notice. I was disappointed. And I was relieved. An organization that has no room for conversation or interaction when deciding on the future leader of their organization doesn't have room for me.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Happy Surprises
I'm looking forward to Christmas lights. And snow. Every time fall rolls around, I can't help but think, "Christmas is coming, and spring's just around the corner!" My bulbs will poke their snouts up through the cold, cold ground because they can't wait any longer. That smell in the air of green things under the mulch... I digress.
Fall used to make me melancholy, but now my garden makes me appreciate every season. Its beauty is never ending. I enjoy caring for it: I clean it, I give it sustenance, and I invest time and energy and money in it. I watch it grow and change and feel a great sense of pride in how I've contributed to its loveliness. It delights and surprises me at every turn. The garden is like my child in many ways. And as if it were my child, I photograph it incessantly.
Here are some of the latest pictures of my darling one. The one with the little purple flowers is rosemary in bloom!
Fall used to make me melancholy, but now my garden makes me appreciate every season. Its beauty is never ending. I enjoy caring for it: I clean it, I give it sustenance, and I invest time and energy and money in it. I watch it grow and change and feel a great sense of pride in how I've contributed to its loveliness. It delights and surprises me at every turn. The garden is like my child in many ways. And as if it were my child, I photograph it incessantly.
Here are some of the latest pictures of my darling one. The one with the little purple flowers is rosemary in bloom!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Change Has Come to America
As I write this, I am listening again to Barack Obama's presidential acceptance speech. And I am crying, again. This man moves me. He moved America. He represents hope--for Americans, but also for the rest of the world, which has been watching this race so closely and with bated breath.
But it's not just his philosophy of inclusion or his motivational way of speaking or his politics that move me to tears. I simply didn't think that America had grown up enough to see past skin color or gender, nor did I believe it would happen in my lifetime. But clearly this baby is moving out of the "terrible twos" and learning to say more than "No!"
I have never in my life been as happy to say that I was wrong. I am so proud of us I feel like my heart will burst.
But it's not just his philosophy of inclusion or his motivational way of speaking or his politics that move me to tears. I simply didn't think that America had grown up enough to see past skin color or gender, nor did I believe it would happen in my lifetime. But clearly this baby is moving out of the "terrible twos" and learning to say more than "No!"
I have never in my life been as happy to say that I was wrong. I am so proud of us I feel like my heart will burst.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
That's Ms. CPA to You
A colleague I worked with always made me laugh by calling me Ms. CPA, which was a play on my credentials: MS, CPA. Recently a consultant I hired to give me advice about my job search suggested that perhaps my identification with my credentials is getting in my way. Why? Because it calls to mind the image of... I'll let you fill in the blank. What do you think of when you think "Certified Public Accountant"? Exactly. And that isn't me.
I didn't go down the path of the CPA who pays her dues at the public accounting firm, which is what you're supposed to do. (This was an early clue that I was not destined to fit in anyone's mold.) It just seemed, well, mundane and boring. Plus I knew exactly one woman who had made it big in public accounting, and she paid for it with a divorce and missing her kids' childhood. Now there's a ringing endorsement.
I'm nontraditional and anti-establishment in many ways. I was never a "public accountant." So why do I keep my license up to date? Why do I readily tell new networking contacts that I'm a CPA and forget to mention other important facets of my professional life (e.g., I'm an adjunct faculty member at DU, I volunteer at three different organizations, I own three businesses)?
Because I'm an ESTJ. Because I can process data and its relationship to the big picture faster than most people. Because I love numbers and the story they tell. Because I enjoy telling that story to other people. Because CPAs follow a code of ethics I believe in.
It's hard for people to reconcile my outgoing and friendly nature with the fact that I'm a CPA, and that's why my consultant recommended that I de-emphasize my financial background during the job search. She said that people want a CEO who is, above all, charming, and I throw them off with the financial credentials. I've followed her advice, and we'll see how it pans out.
But in the end, I'll always be Ms. CPA to you.
I didn't go down the path of the CPA who pays her dues at the public accounting firm, which is what you're supposed to do. (This was an early clue that I was not destined to fit in anyone's mold.) It just seemed, well, mundane and boring. Plus I knew exactly one woman who had made it big in public accounting, and she paid for it with a divorce and missing her kids' childhood. Now there's a ringing endorsement.
I'm nontraditional and anti-establishment in many ways. I was never a "public accountant." So why do I keep my license up to date? Why do I readily tell new networking contacts that I'm a CPA and forget to mention other important facets of my professional life (e.g., I'm an adjunct faculty member at DU, I volunteer at three different organizations, I own three businesses)?
Because I'm an ESTJ. Because I can process data and its relationship to the big picture faster than most people. Because I love numbers and the story they tell. Because I enjoy telling that story to other people. Because CPAs follow a code of ethics I believe in.
It's hard for people to reconcile my outgoing and friendly nature with the fact that I'm a CPA, and that's why my consultant recommended that I de-emphasize my financial background during the job search. She said that people want a CEO who is, above all, charming, and I throw them off with the financial credentials. I've followed her advice, and we'll see how it pans out.
But in the end, I'll always be Ms. CPA to you.
Monday, October 20, 2008
From Career Ladder to Career Lattice
Last week I attended a women's leadership luncheon sponsored by Deloitte LLP at the invitation of the Women's Foundation of Colorado. Sharon Allen was the keynote speaker--she's the Chairman of the Board of Deloitte, an accounting and consulting firm (yes, they still call her the Chairman though she is a woman). She's also on the Forbes list of the 100 Most Powerful Women in the World.
Ms. Allen spoke about how they have implemented the concept of the "career lattice" at Deloitte in order to replace the traditional "career ladder." Gone are the days of the traditional step-on-everyone-to-get-to-the-top philosophy. Gone are the days of fighting for the next promotion and the next raise. Gone are the days of having to leave if you're going to have a family.
It took me a while to wrap my head around the idea, because I was taught to believe that if you aren't forever getting more money and power, you're lazy, boring, or incompetent. And if you did take time out for family or anything else, well, you'd pretty much have to start over at the bottom. This was the price we paid for being women in a man's world.
But Sharon Allen talked about being able to "dial up" or "dial down" your career at various points in your life without having to give it all up. Flexibility and respect seem to be the cornerstones of this approach. After it sank in, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. The world is starting to understand that women can add infinitely more value when they contribute from within their own framework.
If one of the most traditional, male-dominated industries in the U.S. has seen the light, we're closer to electing a woman president than I ever thought possible.
Ms. Allen spoke about how they have implemented the concept of the "career lattice" at Deloitte in order to replace the traditional "career ladder." Gone are the days of the traditional step-on-everyone-to-get-to-the-top philosophy. Gone are the days of fighting for the next promotion and the next raise. Gone are the days of having to leave if you're going to have a family.
It took me a while to wrap my head around the idea, because I was taught to believe that if you aren't forever getting more money and power, you're lazy, boring, or incompetent. And if you did take time out for family or anything else, well, you'd pretty much have to start over at the bottom. This was the price we paid for being women in a man's world.
But Sharon Allen talked about being able to "dial up" or "dial down" your career at various points in your life without having to give it all up. Flexibility and respect seem to be the cornerstones of this approach. After it sank in, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. The world is starting to understand that women can add infinitely more value when they contribute from within their own framework.
If one of the most traditional, male-dominated industries in the U.S. has seen the light, we're closer to electing a woman president than I ever thought possible.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Joy Comes in Small Packages
The sun is shining and the weather is warm, warm, warm. I contributed time to Smart-Girl this afternoon that was meaningful--I built relationships and used my knowledge and skills. I scheduled a phone interview for an organization I believe in where I could most definitely WOW them as the CEO.
And I got a package in the mail today--the written evaluations from the class I taught at DU this summer. I was a bit reluctant to teach the Financial Management and Fundraising class in a condensed format--how would I ever fit it all in and keep them engaged? But I earned an "A"! My numerical scores were often 5.9 on a 6.0 scale. Here are some of the comments:
And I got a package in the mail today--the written evaluations from the class I taught at DU this summer. I was a bit reluctant to teach the Financial Management and Fundraising class in a condensed format--how would I ever fit it all in and keep them engaged? But I earned an "A"! My numerical scores were often 5.9 on a 6.0 scale. Here are some of the comments:"Erin really cares about this subject and she is able to convey her vast knowledge succintly and effectively. I was impressed with her enthusiasm, preparation, and skill."Happy, happy, joy, joy! These are the days I live for.
"Engaging teaching style"
"Erin did a wonderful job of finding ways to incorporate multiculturalism..."
"Instructor was knowledgable and able to go into specifics with real-life examples."
"Challenging both to experienced and inexperienced students"
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I Don't Know How to Be a Superhero
I mentor a 13-year-old girl named Consuelo through an organization called Denver Kids. She's a good kid with a loving mom and two sisters who will be her friends for life. She's lucky because she's got a better start than a lot of kids in the program. I'm lucky because other mentors have to deal with drugs, pregnancy, and abuse. I may still face some of those issues with her, but I hope not. I want to see her graduate from high school and college without going through any major trauma. I want to see her be happy.
It was a huge decision, this committing to being a mentor. Frankly, I was terrified that I would do or say something wrong--that I would screw up somehow and mess up a kid for life. But I did it anyway. I jumped through all the hoops, including orientation, interviews with different organizations, fingerprinting and the background check, and lots of other stuff that I've blocked from memory because I want to convince my friends to become mentors too.
In mentor training, they said that every mentor is afraid of doing something wrong. They told us that we don't have to be superheroes; just being ourselves is good enough. They told us that our first responsibility is to always meet our commitments to the mentee. Our second job is to be a friend rather than a parent or teacher. Our third task is to be calm and nonjudgmental at all times and to set boundaries when necessary.
When Consuelo told me how she fights with her sisters, I told her that she was filled with light and love and to try to remember that in the moment. It's what I would tell my best friend. I hope it was right and good. It was me.
It was a huge decision, this committing to being a mentor. Frankly, I was terrified that I would do or say something wrong--that I would screw up somehow and mess up a kid for life. But I did it anyway. I jumped through all the hoops, including orientation, interviews with different organizations, fingerprinting and the background check, and lots of other stuff that I've blocked from memory because I want to convince my friends to become mentors too.
In mentor training, they said that every mentor is afraid of doing something wrong. They told us that we don't have to be superheroes; just being ourselves is good enough. They told us that our first responsibility is to always meet our commitments to the mentee. Our second job is to be a friend rather than a parent or teacher. Our third task is to be calm and nonjudgmental at all times and to set boundaries when necessary.
When Consuelo told me how she fights with her sisters, I told her that she was filled with light and love and to try to remember that in the moment. It's what I would tell my best friend. I hope it was right and good. It was me.
Monday, September 22, 2008
It's My Birthday Too
Well, the ol' birthday has rolled around again, and I'm feelin' fine. Gary played the Beatles birthday song for me and gave me beads. At a little gathering later in the day, I was surrounded by members of my fan club. I felt loved and cherished. Honestly, what more could I ask for?
Well, I do like a little gifty... And there were plenty of those--meaningful, fun, and funny presents chosen just for me. Here's one that had to be immediately set up on my desk. My very own "Day at the Beach," complete with shells, beach ball, and umbrella. One can dream.
Well, I do like a little gifty... And there were plenty of those--meaningful, fun, and funny presents chosen just for me. Here's one that had to be immediately set up on my desk. My very own "Day at the Beach," complete with shells, beach ball, and umbrella. One can dream.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Big Brother, How Far Is Too Far?
Google Maps has a photo of my house on their website. You can see the front of my cute little ranch and my beautiful garden. You can walk up and down my street and turn in a circle and see all of my neighbor's houses, too. In fact, my whole neighborhood, along with much of Denver and its suburbs, has been visually mapped and is available for the whole world to see.
It's so totally cool and kind of weird and creepy all at the same time. No doubt it will keep me from getting lost as I tool around here in the city. I'm one of those "turn left at the second church after the 7-11" kind of people rather than a "go south on Speer for 2.1 miles and then turn left on Larimer" kind of people. If I can see it, it's real. I truly appreciate of a tool that allows those of us who are "direction challenged" a fighting chance.
And I did go to Beijing, China on Google Maps to see what I could see. They have cute little suburban houses, palatial estates, and vast seas of tiny little apartments housed in big towers. I plan to travel to more destinations to improve my understanding of other cultures, even if it's just by looking at where they live.
So is the map project Big Brother going too far, or is it taking us one step closer to brotherhood?
It's so totally cool and kind of weird and creepy all at the same time. No doubt it will keep me from getting lost as I tool around here in the city. I'm one of those "turn left at the second church after the 7-11" kind of people rather than a "go south on Speer for 2.1 miles and then turn left on Larimer" kind of people. If I can see it, it's real. I truly appreciate of a tool that allows those of us who are "direction challenged" a fighting chance.
And I did go to Beijing, China on Google Maps to see what I could see. They have cute little suburban houses, palatial estates, and vast seas of tiny little apartments housed in big towers. I plan to travel to more destinations to improve my understanding of other cultures, even if it's just by looking at where they live.
So is the map project Big Brother going too far, or is it taking us one step closer to brotherhood?
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