Riding the Creative Wave

I'm having the time of my life this summer learning new stuff in classes, meeting new people at networking events, and finding a way to organize my life during the job search. Surprisingly, I've spent less time enjoying my garden this summer than in the past because I've been so involved in the new reality of post-old job, pre-fabulous new job and just enjoying the process.

Having said that, I have have also desperately missed the creativity that goes along with solving complex problems and leading people. I'm thrilled when I get a consulting client who actually needs my brain for a few hours a week right now so that I can feel original and useful.

Since the garden is doing well right now (just needs some more color, which I'm working on a tiny bit at a time), I turn to my other creative outlets to find satisfaction. I recently reorganized my space so that I have lots of room for the seemingly endless supplies and tools associated with my jewelry-making obsession. Now I can actually leave projects out without feeling guilty about taking up all that room and can work on them when I need a fix.

Here are some fun creations from my portfolio: a vintage necklace that I completely took apart, rehabbed, and turned into a bracelet; simple sponge coral earrings; and periodot and pearl beauties that I made for Heather and gave to her for her birthday just yesterday. (She loved them!) My hobbies/obsessions feed my soul, and I'm ever so grateful for them.

Completely Unscientific Research

OK, so I've spent the last week talking to various people about this male-female communication thing, and there are, as you might imagine, as many opinions as there are people. Some posit that communication is not really gender based. Hmmm... Methinks these are people who have not been subjected to much discrimination. You figure out who they are. Others say that they, like me, have suffered negative consequences for behaving and/or communicating in ways not in keeping with their gender stereotypes.

At a recent networking function, I asked a high-level executive from a certain utilities company what top three tips she could give regarding successful communication with men in the workplace:

1. Be logical. Take your audience and your thought process from Point A to Point B to Point C. (Point taken.)

2. Don't just announce a decision. Bring them into the decision-making process. Give them the space to make them think it's their idea, and then approve it. (I think you have to bring people into the decision-making process regardless of gender, but apparently she thought this was especially important with men.)

3. Limit chit-chat. If you must chit-chat, talk about what's interesting to them. (That last part is true of all audiences.)

I'll also share an idea from another wise female colleague that I've heard from other sources before. Most men are problem solvers. They immediately go into problem-solving mode when you talk to them. So, take advantage of that by saying something like, "I have a problem, and I need your advice. Could we meet for lunch this week?" The consensus is that no man will turn down a meeting with you when approached this way.

Talk this Way

I had lunch with my friend Lorraine today, and she reminded me of an invaluable, time-tested principle of communication: Learn how to talk to the other person based on his or her preferences and communication style. Otherwise, that person can't hear you.

For example, Lorraine's an I (Introvert on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), and I'm an E (Extrovert). "I"s need time to think and process, and "E"s process and think out loud and in the moment. "We tune out half of what you say because you give us too much information," Lorraine commented. What an eye opener. Or "I" opener, as the case may be.

We were analyzing my communication with men in the business world (because we're both "T"s or Thinkers and we love to analyze) in terms of my communication preferences and those of males. And now I am on a mission to talk with men and learn some lessons about how they like to connect with each other and their female colleagues. I realize that I have a LOT to learn.

It's a wise friend indeed who helps you see an opportunity where you saw only a problem.

Interrupting the Negative Thought

Interesting technique from a book I'm reading called The Little Book of Letting Go:

Instead of trying to replace a negative thought by telling yourself you're really happy (or should be happy) about something, interrupt the thought the minute you recognize it as negative or unhealthy. Then, instead think a "connecting" or loving thought. Examples of connecting thoughts: the last time you really hugged your spouse and were in the moment, a time when you talked to someone who really "gets" you, a specific moment when you felt at one with nature.

If your negative thought was about a particular person, try to think a connecting thought about that person. If you can't, just think a connecting thought about anything or anyone. It's powerful. Try it.

Books that Make You Think

Nonfiction that makes you think is rare compared to the number of volumes in print. One in a hundred, maybe? But I found a cool one by looking at the award-winning books on the Denver Public Library site. The Echo Maker is two stories, one about a woman whose brother suffers brain injury in a car crash and subsequently goes through all kinds of strange delusions and machinations that keep him from feeling like a normal part of the world. The other story is about a neuroscientist who studies people with brain injury and writes about them in a way that a lay person can understand.

What I find most fascinating about this novel is the premise that this "abnormal" brain function is actually normal and is just a tiny, tiny part of what our brains are capable of. People with color synesthesia see a color when they see, think, or hear a particular number or word (one is blue, Wednesday is yellow, etc.). Some people experience very pleasant sensations in feet they no longer have. People who suffer from Capgras syndrome think that their loved ones are actually robots or "imposters." In the book, you start to see how the hallucination could seem real. Bizarre stuff. But to some, just an indication of what the brain can really do, perhaps even precursors to the next stage of evolution.

More than NGBF

For years, I had this boss whose sense of humor I never understood. But there are one or two of his little weirdnesses that live on in my nuclear family because they ranked as funny. One of them is "NGBF" food, which stands for "not good but filling." I've had my share of it, and I avoid it like the plague. Also restaurants that charge $50 for a meal that's OK but absolutely not worth the money. I guess that would be "OBNWTM" food, which just doesn't have the same ring.

Enter new restaurant, which we always try on our anniversary and on birthdays. Picture it, feel it, taste it: inventive summer fare with just the right amount of spice, casual but sophisticated ambiance, perfect waitron involvement, and a check total of $100 with wine. Our 14th anniversary dinner at Duo Restaurant was exceptional. I am a foodie and more than a little picky about restaurants. In fact, I had almost given up entirely on the $$$ and $$$$ restaurants because they never lived up to my expectations. But HO-LY COW! You have to go. Did I mention the chocolate cake with thick, thick icing a mile high and the creme fraiche gelato? We had to have a quiet moment while my brain wrapped around that one.