OK, so I've spent the last week talking to various people about this male-female communication thing, and there are, as you might imagine, as many opinions as there are people. Some posit that communication is not really gender based. Hmmm... Methinks these are people who have not been subjected to much discrimination. You figure out who they are. Others say that they, like me, have suffered negative consequences for behaving and/or communicating in ways not in keeping with their gender stereotypes.
At a recent networking function, I asked a high-level executive from a certain utilities company what top three tips she could give regarding successful communication with men in the workplace:
1. Be logical. Take your audience and your thought process from Point A to Point B to Point C. (Point taken.)
2. Don't just announce a decision. Bring them into the decision-making process. Give them the space to make them think it's their idea, and then approve it. (I think you have to bring people into the decision-making process regardless of gender, but apparently she thought this was especially important with men.)
3. Limit chit-chat. If you must chit-chat, talk about what's interesting to them. (That last part is true of all audiences.)
I'll also share an idea from another wise female colleague that I've heard from other sources before. Most men are problem solvers. They immediately go into problem-solving mode when you talk to them. So, take advantage of that by saying something like, "I have a problem, and I need your advice. Could we meet for lunch this week?" The consensus is that no man will turn down a meeting with you when approached this way.
2 comments:
I find this list depressing, though accurate. It doesn't seem too far a cry from 1950's advice to housewives about their husbands. You know -- don't burden him with talk about your day, make him feel important, etc. None of it seems very authentic. That said, my husband told me that an interviewee blew her chances with him when she commented "Sorry about my hair! It doesn't usually look like this!"
I guess the fact that the advice now is similar to the advice given 60 years ago is a testament to the fact that society and gender stereotypes change s-s-s-l-l-o-o-o-o-o-w-l-y-y-y-y.
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