The Jar of Love

My sister Lindsey and I agreed that we would make gifts for each other this year to save money and to put our respective talents to use. Lindsey made Gary a dee-licious pumpkin pie and some beautiful handmade cards that he can send for birthdays and other occasions. He was pumped! Lindsey made me some very cool handmade Christmas trading cards and three dozen peanut butter balls, which are my very favorite cookie/candy in this whole wide world. They freeze well, too, so I'll be rationing those out at least until Valentine's Day, when I can maybe beg for some more.

For Lindsey, I wrote up six of my favorite recipes, made two pairs of earrings, and thought up some great coupons (with Gary's help) that I put together in the coolest little coupon book. But the most fun present to make was the "jar of love."

Gary and I had a couple of marathon sessions where we talked out loud about everything we love about Lindsey. I typed up our thoughts and printed them out. Gary made them look good by mounting each separate thought on a piece of patterned paper. Then we put them all in a jar and labelled it "Reasons Why We Love You." One of them was: You always have a suggestion about how to improve a bad situation. Another was: You're insightful about how people relate to one another. You get the idea...

We were pretty proud of ourselves for making such a cool gift, and Lindsey cried when she opened it. (It runs in our family--my mom cried about one of her gifts, too.) I hope that my sister will open that jar any time she needs a boost or a positive thought or to feel loved. I hope that it makes her feel like the special person that she is.

But I got more out of that gift than she ever will--insight into why my love for her runs so deep. It's not just because I helped change her diapers and held her hand when she crossed the street and got up with her when she was sick sometimes. It's not just because I watched her grow from a baby into a woman. It's not just that we have a psychic link (no kidding--we're complete opposites on the Myers-Briggs scale and still routinely say exactly the same thing at the exactly the same time in exactly the same tone of voice!). I love her because she is funny and smart and loving and loyal. Even if she weren't my sister, I'd count myself lucky to be her friend.

Java Jive

In the last six months, I've met people at coffee houses all over Denver. It's a running joke between Gary and me that I've been to so many Starbucks, and am intimately familiar with a few, despite the fact that I'm anti-Starbucks.

When I met someone at my favorite Peet's Coffee on the 16th Street Mall a couple of months ago, I realized that coffee shops have changed the face of business. They've given us a neutral, casual place to meet, talk, make deals, and exchange information. In the past, we either had to do a power lunch or dinner or meet in someone's stuffy office or board room.

Tradition and power are the bastions of boomers' and veterans' values. But as the Xers and Y generation have moved up in the professional world, we've made coffee houses our place of choice to change the world. This is a lesson that older, more mature cultures learned hundreds or even thousands of years ago--business conducted in a comfortable environment over a shared pleasure (hot coffee or tea or a sugar-filled delight that pretends to be coffee) builds relationships and is infinitely more fun.

So I guess Starbucks isn't that bad after all. It's a rent-free meeting room that's wired for free Internet access. No wonder the coffee costs $5.

Back in the Saddle Again

I had to take a break from teaching for a couple of years because I got a little burned out. My day job was demanding more of my time, and when I couldn't muster one ounce of sympathy for "My dog ate my homework" anymore, I gave up. (Yes, adult students really say stuff like that.) No patience and not enough time do not make a good teacher. And as my sister and my ESTJ Myers-Briggs Type Indicator point out, anything I do I want to do well.

But I'm baaaaaaaaaack. Red Rocks Community College asked me to teach Principles of Accounting II this summer, which I agreed to do despite the daunting task of redoing all assignments for the new book, figuring out the new online homework system, and completing a file folder full (not kidding!) of human-resources paperwork. ;)

But what's really cool is that the University of Denver asked me to teach a master's level course this winter--nonprofit financial management for people in the social-work degree program. How exciting! (This is what maintaining your network can do for you, people.)

I'm thrilled about it because I'll get the opportunity to interact with my people--those who work in the human-services nonprofit sector. And I'm going to tap my network to bring in people with expertise I don't have to make it a fun, meaningful learning experience. And I will get to teach students at a higher level--hooray! So the only question remaining is: Will the dog eat their homework too?

Take a Little Piece of My Heart Now Baby

I dreamt the other night that my family had Dino (a funny-looking black and white dacshund/terrier mix) and Jenny (a black Lab) again--my first dogs when I was little. In the dream, I was refusing to give them up even though they were decrepit. "We're not getting other dogs!" I shouted to no one and everyone.

It's not hard to interpret that one. A year ago today we lost Rachel, our furry companion of almost fourteen years. Sometimes I still miss her so much it feels like my heart will burst. Thankfully those times are fewer and farther between now, but that underlying, steady layer of grief is still too close. It keeps the good memories at bay.

People have pretty much stopped asking when we're going to get another dog, which is good because when they do it makes me put up my "I-don't-feel-anything wall," which is bad. How does one adequately explain the thoughts and emotions that govern one's particular brand of grief? It's impossible, so I turn it into a tagline and change the subject.

But today I am grieving and putting it out there with the hope that the act of sharing will let some of the bad feelings slip away and some of the good memories take up housekeeping. How I do miss her little self.

Snoozin' on the bed 2004

Photo Shoot September 2004

Camping August 2006

Her last day--outside, where she loved it best

Let's Get Back to the Basics: Communication

Today I met with the public policy liaison from the Denver Department of Human Services. She's been around government and nonprofits for a long while and so has a unique perspective on what's happening in our community.

I asked the usual informational interview questions, but I knew I had a wealth of information at my fingertips, all packaged up in this little bundle of energy. So I asked, "What do we need to be doing to move the community forward?" She talked about the major issues: homelessness, child welfare and protection, public and higher education, transportation infrastructure, and welfare reform.

But her main message was this: market effectively. She didn't say it like that, but that was it in a nutshell. The public is blissfully unaware of how human-services and other public policy issues affect our community. Coloradans are notoriously low givers in a state with a relatively high income per capita. Whose fault is that? If you want to educate and raise awareness of and funds for a cause, what do you do? MARKET THE MESSAGE EFFECTIVELY.

Too many of us in nonprofits focus on the day-to-day and putting out fires without investing in the future. How many human-services nonprofits have development staff but no marketing staff? Governments and nonprofits MUST build the marketing infrastructure to support the necessary fundraising infrastructure. If not, we'll keep serving up the same meal day after day--would you like the crisis du jour?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I love this holiday. This, the one day of the year where we Americans are supposed to stop and smell the coffee, eat a wonderful meal with family and friends, and give thanks for all that is good and right in our world. I am thankful for so much, I could make a list as long as my arm, but here are just a few that come to mind:

• Stunning fall sunsets that make my heart swell with gladness
• My sweet husband, whom I love to the ends of the earth and back again
• My baby sister, whom I love to the stars and back again
• My mama, who loves me like no one else can
• Emily, who believes in me always
• Shannon, who gives me new opportunities to grow
• Amy, who has been a tried-and-true friend for 20+ years
• The openness, honesty, and support of the nonprofit community in this city
• Birds singing at the feeders in the backyard
• The new friends I've made at networking events and informational interviews in the last few months
• The support of friends and family as I find my way in a brave new world

I am grateful.

Glorious Fall Colors

The beauty that is my garden in the fall...

The Devil Came on Horseback

I watched the documentary The Devil Came on Horseback this week. Wow. It's about the ongoing genocide happening right now in Darfur, which is in western Sudan. After I got over the first wave of shock, my first thought was, "How could I not know this?"

I explained the whole thing to Gary, and he said, "How could I not know this?" I said, "Because Americans have a short little span of attention."

It did make it into the media, complete with horrible, gruesome photos. And a description of the intentional burning of entire villages hut by hut, brutal murders of hundreds of thousands of people at the hands of the Arab government and their flunkies, and the use of rape as a tool of war because it breaks up families. People were outraged for a while (a few days? a few weeks?). Then we moved on to other news. Wow.

The matter was referred to the United Nations, who referred the matter to the International Criminal Court. The Sudanese ambassador to the UN actually smiled when asked if he would turn over those people the ICC determined were most responsible for the crimes. Wow.

So I went to the website http://www.savedarfur.orgto see what I could do. "I'll write letters to my Congresspeople," I thought, until I couldn't figure out what I would say. "Kill those evil people," was the first thing that came to mind. But then I wondered, "What next?" How can we build an infrastructure in the entire continent? That's what would be necessary to give them the economic self-sufficiency they need to recover from the fragmentation and devastating effects of slavery and destruction of their society wrought by British and French colonization.

I'm not sure what I can ask my Congresspeople to do. Murder the bad guys and leave a country with no government and no militia to protect its people? Right, so they can be prey for the next armed group who wants their piece of land? But how can we just stand by while they continue to rape, murder, and pillage?

How Perfect Are You?

"About-Face's mission is to equip women and girls with tools to understand and resist the harmful stereotypes of women the media disseminates." OK, now THAT's what I'm talking about!

"Our ultimate goal, the About-Face vision, is to imbue girls and women with the power to free themselves from body-related oppression, so they will be capable of fulfilling their potential." Amen, sisters!

This website features a photo on the opening page of a woman with her two girls, holding a sign that says, "I don't need plastic surgery because I want my daughters to look like ME!" One page lists 10 things you can do to help achieve their mission, and here are a few points I found particularly compelling. Think about it.

-Girls listen to what women say about themselves and learn the language of womanhood.

-You can stop perpetuating the quest for perfection by NOT talking about how imperfect you are.

-You're the boss of you--wear what you want, say what you want, do what you want.

-Ladies, make a short list of women you admire. How often does what you admire about those women have to do with their looks?

I'm pretty sure Hillary doesn't wear a size 4 and model in her free time. And if you watch C-SPAN, you KNOW those congresswomen don't give a rip about what they look like. Maybe they're actually busy paying attention to things like, oh, I don't know, the war in Iraq, global warming, genocide in Africa, and the poverty level of U.S. senior citizens.

Visit the About-Face blog for a little wake-up call about what's going on in the fashion industry and what advertisers (of yogurt, alcohol, and all sorts of things) are saying about women. And watch this YouTube video for a different perspective.

The Real Issues

Forgive me, fellow bloggers, for I have sinned. It's been 10 days since my last post. I've eaten ice cream quite a few times (have you TRIED those Starbucks mud pies you can buy at the grocery store?), had a lustful thought about Brad Pitt, didn't recycle a glass jar I couldn't stand the thought of washing out, and let my mail pile get so high it's precariously balanced and just daring me to add one more piece of paper. What is my penance?

One fellow blogger recently asked the question, "Is anyone talking about the real issues?" I've been thinking about that a lot for the last few weeks. Asking myself if I'm guilty of not talking about things that matter to me because I don't want to appear rabid or overemotional. Do I not take risks because I'm afraid I'll offend someone? I've gotten a lot of gender training, intentional and unintentional, from media, family, and well-meaning friends alike, that points to silence as the answer to conflict.

But I attended a small discussion group last week that consisted of intelligent, caring, outspoken women, and I remembered who I was again. The topic was conserving our earth, women's purchasing power, and how our voices can make a difference. I don't think it was the subject or even the open George-bashing that inspired me. It was seeing these women, who were all total strangers to me and mostly to each other, bond over a glass of wine and a common interest.

They talked without fear of reprisal or judgment. They talked like they knew they would be heard. They talked about the difficult decisions we have to make that have to do with how we spend our time and our money. They talked about choosing between corporate values and the good those corporations do for the economy. So yes, there are people talking about real issues. And I'm one of them.

On the Vertical Axis

A work of "flash fiction":

She started spinning and couldn’t stop. Not one to question things really, she never asked why it happened or why it happened to her. She did wonder how she was going to get to work, though.

Occasionally, someone was nice to her and spent a little time with her, but they all got a bit seasick watching her spin, so it never lasted very long.

Spinning, spinning, spinning.

A few weeks after her 75th birthday, she died in her sleep of a massive heart attack. When they found her, she was lying in her bed, still spinning, but, oddly enough, she was spinning as if she were a Frisbee rather than a top. “I never knew she could do that,” said her son.

Are You Courageous?

My core values are fairness, creativity, fun, intelligence, continuous improvement, collaboration, courage, and leadership. Here's a quote from Maya Angelou to put courage in perspective:

One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.

The Many Faces of Dan

I have six friends named Dan. It's a common name, apparently, but my Dans are anything but common. Whether they know it or not, each of them has had a significant impact on my life. Lessons learned from the Dans:

Dan C.
Laugh often. Love much. Live life with gusto.

Danny H.
Do everything you do with passion.

Dan O.
Reading the paper and watching the sun rise in Deck World is proof that life is sweet.

Dan P.
Superman is real.

Dan S.

Even in a war zone, it's possible to be kind to animals and children.

Dan T.
Treat every friend as a best friend.

May you be lucky enough to have even one Dan in your life.

The Joy of Cooking

One of my great joys in life is cooking. I've thought about training to be a chef, and I'm not ruling out the possibility completely, but I'm not sure my body could endure the long, grueling hours of standing and bending. For sure, I'd have to practice yoga every single day (which isn't a bad thing).

In the meantime, I'm happy to be an at-home chef, experimenting and playing and creating. My favorite pastime is "make something delicious with whatever you have in the frig and pantry." I also have a penchant for making one-dish meals during the week that also give me leftovers the next day. If you want to play this game, too, the easiest things to use as a base are pasta, eggs, or potatoes. This time of year, pasta is my fave.

So here's my concoction of the week. Feel free to copy, change, or just drool over the recipe. For those of you who need measurements, I've estimated them, but pretty much everything is "to taste." Veg people, this would work nicely without the bacon.

1 lb. fettuccine, cooked to the consistency you prefer

While pasta is cooking, make sauce as follows:
1 stick butter
8 T. extra virgin olive oil
Juice of 1/2 lemon

Heat above ingredients until hot, then turn down heat to medium. Then add:
3 chopped jalapenos (too spicy for most of you, so try 1 to start)
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
2 T. minced garlic

Cook above ingredients for a few minutes. Turn down heat to lowest setting, then add:
1 c. big pieces of tomato
Salt and pepper to taste

When pasta is done, mix sauce and pasta together and add:
6 strips bacon, cooked until crispy, then crumbled
3/4 c. coarsely chopped toasted nuts (I used walnuts, but next time I'm going for pine nuts)
3/4 c. coarsely chopped Italian parsley

Serve in big pasta bowls and enjoy. Absolutely fabulous!

Happy Birthday to Me

It was my birthday over the weekend, along with the first day of fall. I have a touch of SAD (seasonal affective disorder), so when the days start getting shorter, I start feeling a little bit blue. And being in my "late 30s" now doesn't help, either.

Don't get me wrong: I love my birthday. Dozens of cards with warm words, calls from loved ones, presents... And really, I love all birthdays. A birthday is the one day where you can celebrate a person and no one bats an eye or feels strange about it. So I make it a point to send a card or make a phone call on birthdays, and I just revel in it when people recognize mine.

Still, with the fall weather and all, sometimes I just need a dose of happy, and all I have to do is remember birthdays past. Gary and I have made a tradition of trying all things new on our birthdays (new restaurants, new theaters, new experiences), which is definitely refreshing and rejuvenating. Many a joyful memory has come from the birthday celebrations that G has planned.

And the last few years at my former place of work, my team put together organization-wide birthday celebrations for me that involved food and gifts and cards and well wishes. Which I basked in, of course, and sorely missed this year.

But I have to admit, nothing will ever quite take the place of the complete, utter, enveloping ecstasy that was was my birthday when I lived at home. Ever since I was little and even through my rebellious teenage years, my mother made my birthday special. Mountains of beautifully wrapped presents on the table weeks beforehand. Letting me choose a restaurant for a fancy dinner. Parties and birthday cake and multiple renditions of the happy birthday song.

And oh, let's not forget, how could I ever forget, the Beatles singing "Birthday" at max volume in the morning as I woke up. I felt special and treasured and like the world existed just to make me feel like a million bucks. Thanks, Mom.

The People in Your Neighborhood

Paul lives a few doors down from us, next to the open fields that sometimes host cows, sometimes just coyotes, sometimes coyotes hunting cows. Paul was a in a car accident many years ago and suffered brain damage that impaired his short-term memory and we don't know what else. He works at King Soopers, eats dinner at his sister's house every night, doesn't drive, and spends pretty much all of his free time walking around the neighborhood talking and walking with the people who live here. He is one fit dude.

Paul is perpetually happy. He doesn't remember your name, but he remembers you and likes you. He likes everyone except people who don't stop at the stop sign at the intersection outside my house. "Did you see that guy? Didn't even stop. Unbelievable."

He loved Rachel, our furry companion of 14 years. He made friends with her when no one else would come close because she was such a ferocious protector of the yard and all things walking nearby. Every time he would stroll by, he would say, "Can I pet your dog?" We would say, "Well... she's not very nice to strangers." He didn't care. He persisted until he made friends with her. He would ignore her frantic barking, and eventually he won her over. When she saw Paul, she would immediately start wagging her tail. She loved Paul. He would always say, "She's such a beautiful dog." Who can resist anyone who thinks your little muttly, moody dog is beautiful?

Paul has a specific way of greeting you: "Hey, how ya doin'?" Then, "How ya been?" Then, "Did you work today?" That's usually how it goes with Paul, and the routine is comforting, and he always makes me feel like I belong here. He reminds me that life is simple and wonderful if you let it be.

Women in Politics (or Not)

Scary statistics from a panel presentation I attended last night sponsored by the Colorado Women's Chamber of Commerce:

• The U.S. is 67th in the world in terms of having proportional representation of women in government--we rank lower than Rwanda, South Africa, and Japan.


• 21% of college and university presidents are women, a number that has been flat for a long, long time.


• Colorado ranks fifth among the states in terms of having women in the state legislature, and we still have only 34% women.

The women who spoke on the panel are wonderful role models, though, and I was truly inspired by them. One woman works for The White House Project, and one of their initiatives is to train women to run for office. They are also working with the media to tell them what to report about women candidates (something other than their hair styles, hemlines, and families).

Journaling to Explore the Possibilities

My grandmother, who is 83, has survived breast cancer twice, severe polymyalgia, a heart attack, and, most recently, lymphoma. She's still sharp and active and funny, and I'm grateful to be able to spend some meaningful time with her as an adult.

Here's an example of Grandma's sense of humor: I've been encouraging her for a couple of years to take part in the activities at the senior center, but every time I brought it up, she'd say, "I don't like to hang out with those old people." OK... I could see her point. But yesterday she mentioned that she might be able to make some friends if she actually went to some events at the senior center. When I recounted the aforementioned objection, she said, "Yeah, well, I've just lately decided that I'm old." And she laughed her devilish laugh that always cracks me up because it means she's cracking herself up.

Anyway, sometimes we go to the cancer support group sponsored by the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Yesterday, the speaker taught us about journaling--some tricks and tips and methods for using it as a healing medium. We did several journaling exercises, and one of them was to use a "springboard" (list was provided) to get us thinking about something in a new way. I chose "What would I do if I knew I could not fail?" I actively tried to quiet my internal editor so I could just write. The gist of my response was that I'd change the world and create peace, harmony, and love. But here's the nugget I want to keep close and hope you will, too:

I'd give my heart away every day

and live in anticipation of

people giving their hearts to me.

I'd give the love we all want to receive.

Man, that was the best eight minutes I've spent dreaming in a while. Take the time to feel and find yourself, even it's five minutes a day, through meditation or writing or something. Contrary to what we're taught about being productive by always being busy, busy, busy, a quiet and still mind is a powerful thing.

Quote for the Day

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.

~Henry Miller

Away from Civilization--Sort Of

My nephew, Milo, basking in the sun after a cold, cold night camping

Our camping trip this weekend was fun, but we had to leave sooner than we planned. Every afternoon we had a major storm. And when I say major, I mean one day lightning struck our campsite and one day we had a half-inch of hail. And at 9,000 feet, it gets COLD at night after it rains. So Mother Nature did her part to let us know how inconsequential we are in the whole scheme of things.

But I could deal with all that. What was so funny is that we drove three hours to get away from it all and ended up in a campsite (not a campground--we won't stay in them) where we could hear ranch dogs barking, cattle lowing, and traffic on the dirt road about a half-mile from our camp. But we knew the rain was coming, so we had to pick a place. And the last day we were there, there were two gunshots VERY close to our campsite. Apparently it's hunting season, and apparently you can hunt in the U.S. National Forests. Needless to say, we left immediately. How could we feel comfortable hiking or even moving around in our camp knowing that we could be perceived as prey by our fellow humans? Yikes!

There were many beautiful moments on this trip, though:

• A study of grasses in bloom (see photos below)
• Moonlight shining on a tree at night, which made the new growth look like silver magic
• The haunting call of an owl at dusk
• Tiny little sounds of bats hunting
• Quiet contemplation of the scenery while savoring the delicious dichotomy of having half of my body in the shade, cool, and the other half in the sun, roasting

Riding the Creative Wave

I'm having the time of my life this summer learning new stuff in classes, meeting new people at networking events, and finding a way to organize my life during the job search. Surprisingly, I've spent less time enjoying my garden this summer than in the past because I've been so involved in the new reality of post-old job, pre-fabulous new job and just enjoying the process.

Having said that, I have have also desperately missed the creativity that goes along with solving complex problems and leading people. I'm thrilled when I get a consulting client who actually needs my brain for a few hours a week right now so that I can feel original and useful.

Since the garden is doing well right now (just needs some more color, which I'm working on a tiny bit at a time), I turn to my other creative outlets to find satisfaction. I recently reorganized my space so that I have lots of room for the seemingly endless supplies and tools associated with my jewelry-making obsession. Now I can actually leave projects out without feeling guilty about taking up all that room and can work on them when I need a fix.

Here are some fun creations from my portfolio: a vintage necklace that I completely took apart, rehabbed, and turned into a bracelet; simple sponge coral earrings; and periodot and pearl beauties that I made for Heather and gave to her for her birthday just yesterday. (She loved them!) My hobbies/obsessions feed my soul, and I'm ever so grateful for them.

Completely Unscientific Research

OK, so I've spent the last week talking to various people about this male-female communication thing, and there are, as you might imagine, as many opinions as there are people. Some posit that communication is not really gender based. Hmmm... Methinks these are people who have not been subjected to much discrimination. You figure out who they are. Others say that they, like me, have suffered negative consequences for behaving and/or communicating in ways not in keeping with their gender stereotypes.

At a recent networking function, I asked a high-level executive from a certain utilities company what top three tips she could give regarding successful communication with men in the workplace:

1. Be logical. Take your audience and your thought process from Point A to Point B to Point C. (Point taken.)

2. Don't just announce a decision. Bring them into the decision-making process. Give them the space to make them think it's their idea, and then approve it. (I think you have to bring people into the decision-making process regardless of gender, but apparently she thought this was especially important with men.)

3. Limit chit-chat. If you must chit-chat, talk about what's interesting to them. (That last part is true of all audiences.)

I'll also share an idea from another wise female colleague that I've heard from other sources before. Most men are problem solvers. They immediately go into problem-solving mode when you talk to them. So, take advantage of that by saying something like, "I have a problem, and I need your advice. Could we meet for lunch this week?" The consensus is that no man will turn down a meeting with you when approached this way.

Talk this Way

I had lunch with my friend Lorraine today, and she reminded me of an invaluable, time-tested principle of communication: Learn how to talk to the other person based on his or her preferences and communication style. Otherwise, that person can't hear you.

For example, Lorraine's an I (Introvert on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), and I'm an E (Extrovert). "I"s need time to think and process, and "E"s process and think out loud and in the moment. "We tune out half of what you say because you give us too much information," Lorraine commented. What an eye opener. Or "I" opener, as the case may be.

We were analyzing my communication with men in the business world (because we're both "T"s or Thinkers and we love to analyze) in terms of my communication preferences and those of males. And now I am on a mission to talk with men and learn some lessons about how they like to connect with each other and their female colleagues. I realize that I have a LOT to learn.

It's a wise friend indeed who helps you see an opportunity where you saw only a problem.

Interrupting the Negative Thought

Interesting technique from a book I'm reading called The Little Book of Letting Go:

Instead of trying to replace a negative thought by telling yourself you're really happy (or should be happy) about something, interrupt the thought the minute you recognize it as negative or unhealthy. Then, instead think a "connecting" or loving thought. Examples of connecting thoughts: the last time you really hugged your spouse and were in the moment, a time when you talked to someone who really "gets" you, a specific moment when you felt at one with nature.

If your negative thought was about a particular person, try to think a connecting thought about that person. If you can't, just think a connecting thought about anything or anyone. It's powerful. Try it.

Books that Make You Think

Nonfiction that makes you think is rare compared to the number of volumes in print. One in a hundred, maybe? But I found a cool one by looking at the award-winning books on the Denver Public Library site. The Echo Maker is two stories, one about a woman whose brother suffers brain injury in a car crash and subsequently goes through all kinds of strange delusions and machinations that keep him from feeling like a normal part of the world. The other story is about a neuroscientist who studies people with brain injury and writes about them in a way that a lay person can understand.

What I find most fascinating about this novel is the premise that this "abnormal" brain function is actually normal and is just a tiny, tiny part of what our brains are capable of. People with color synesthesia see a color when they see, think, or hear a particular number or word (one is blue, Wednesday is yellow, etc.). Some people experience very pleasant sensations in feet they no longer have. People who suffer from Capgras syndrome think that their loved ones are actually robots or "imposters." In the book, you start to see how the hallucination could seem real. Bizarre stuff. But to some, just an indication of what the brain can really do, perhaps even precursors to the next stage of evolution.

More than NGBF

For years, I had this boss whose sense of humor I never understood. But there are one or two of his little weirdnesses that live on in my nuclear family because they ranked as funny. One of them is "NGBF" food, which stands for "not good but filling." I've had my share of it, and I avoid it like the plague. Also restaurants that charge $50 for a meal that's OK but absolutely not worth the money. I guess that would be "OBNWTM" food, which just doesn't have the same ring.

Enter new restaurant, which we always try on our anniversary and on birthdays. Picture it, feel it, taste it: inventive summer fare with just the right amount of spice, casual but sophisticated ambiance, perfect waitron involvement, and a check total of $100 with wine. Our 14th anniversary dinner at Duo Restaurant was exceptional. I am a foodie and more than a little picky about restaurants. In fact, I had almost given up entirely on the $$$ and $$$$ restaurants because they never lived up to my expectations. But HO-LY COW! You have to go. Did I mention the chocolate cake with thick, thick icing a mile high and the creme fraiche gelato? We had to have a quiet moment while my brain wrapped around that one.