The Power of the Flirt

I have become a master flirt. The ingredients: being in the moment, being willing to take risks, and laughing along with the universe. When I think "flirt," I think: be interested in other people, make their day, and have fun.

People, I'm here to tell you that it is possible to flirt with anyone, anytime. Prime example: Sunday's trip to Whole Foods. I went to get some delicious bits for a Valentine's Day feast. Consequently, I was in an even happier mood than usual.

While walking through fruits and vegetables, I tried to catch a few people's eye. No go. I hit the seafood department and focused intently on the shrimp, thinking that this shopping trip might turn out to be an unusually non-flirty night at WF. Just out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement. I glanced over and saw that the guy at the seafood counter was looking at me. This is "flirt radar." If you want to play, you have to notice people noticing you.

I noticed dark brown eyes, a slim build, and a boy-next-door look, all in a split second. This is another skill of the flirt: taking in a lot of detail in a very short amount of time. He gazed at me and flashed a brilliant smile. Be still my beating heart. I am a sucker for a million-dollar smile. I smiled back and took the positive energy of that interaction with me through my slow wandering up and down the aisles in search of treats. Four guys met my gaze with the "Hey, what's up?" look, sometimes more than once. This is what flirts do: look, look longer, smile.

When I made it to the checkout counter, I could tell the cashier was not in a good place. This is unusual for WF employees. Normally, they let their freak flags fly and are into the groove of the moment. So I took her in: her hair, her makeup, her clothes, her nametag. I asked, "Do you have any special plans for Valentine's Day?"

"No. It's just any other day for me," she said, looking down and away. A heartbeat passed. I looked at her openly, empathetically, expectantly. "But I might take my daughter to the movies," she said. "She loves Justin Bieber movies, and there's a new one out."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" I said, smiling broadly. "That's a great Valentine's Day gift."

"And she loves strawberries," the woman said, "so I'm going to get her some before I go home tonight."

"She'll love it!" I exclaimed. By then, the transaction was done, and I looked at her--again, really looked at her--and said, "You and your daughter will have a great day." She handed me my receipt with a shy look of satisfaction. I noticed that she had tiny red hearts painted on her nails. "Oh, and look at your nails. How cute!"

She laughed a little and said, "You know, I just love to wear red. It's my favorite color. So Valentine's Day lets me do that." She held out her hand for me to examine the intricate pink, red, and white nail work she'd had done. Just another day, huh?

That's the power of the flirt.

You Had Me at Hello

It seems like a lot of people get really grumpy about Valentine's Day, and I'm not sure why. Maybe you think it's only for lovers, and without a lover, there's nothing to celebrate. Maybe you think it's just another Hallmark-manufactured holiday that has no meaning. Or maybe you feel you can't live up to the unexpressed, unknown wishes of your honey-bun. Let me provide a little perspective.

Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. The way I see it, Valentine's Day is a time to tell all the people you love just how much they mean to you. It's the one day a year when your friends and family won't bat an eye if they get a card or a call just to say, "I love you and I'm really glad you're in my life." I sent more than 60 Valentine cards this year, and I felt scroogish that I hadn't sent more. But almost everyone says that mine was the only Valentine they received. Maybe that made it all the more special, but I'm still surprised by the lack of heart sharing.

Perhaps you can do what I do; to get in the Valentine's mood, I watch my favorite love stories: Chocolat, Don Juan de Marco, Pretty Woman, and Jerry Maguire. This year I added a couple of the old love stories: Love in the Afternoon with Audrey Hepburn and Gary Cooper and An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr.

An Affair to Remember has one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever watched. The two main characters, who were both engaged to other people but had started to fall for each other while on a cruise, visit his grandmother. She lives in an island villa at one of the ports where the ship stops for the day. It is one of the most romantic, lovely couple of hours ever. His love for his grandmother shines through, and there's just a hint of a budding love between the two stars. Here's a great montage of the movie that gives you the flavor of it.

These old love stories are without special effects, noise, and explosions. They are perhaps the most simple, back-to-the-basics stories, with haunting music and almost Spartan sets. But in their simplicity, or maybe because of it, they ring true. They remind me why I love Valentine's Day, and perhaps they will inspire you to share your love, too.