I had lunch with my friend Lorraine today, and she reminded me of an invaluable, time-tested principle of communication: Learn how to talk to the other person based on his or her preferences and communication style. Otherwise, that person can't hear you.
For example, Lorraine's an I (Introvert on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), and I'm an E (Extrovert). "I"s need time to think and process, and "E"s process and think out loud and in the moment. "We tune out half of what you say because you give us too much information," Lorraine commented. What an eye opener. Or "I" opener, as the case may be.
We were analyzing my communication with men in the business world (because we're both "T"s or Thinkers and we love to analyze) in terms of my communication preferences and those of males. And now I am on a mission to talk with men and learn some lessons about how they like to connect with each other and their female colleagues. I realize that I have a LOT to learn.
It's a wise friend indeed who helps you see an opportunity where you saw only a problem.
5 comments:
I can identify with Lorraine. Sometimes my brain goes on overload because I try to process every detail that is given to me. "E"s are a little overwhelming sometimes, but it also pushes me to not fall so deeply into my introvert ways. Great blog : ) Looking forward to reading about your findings.
You know I'm an "I", but I have never found your personality overwhelming. I think you're a gentle "E", who obviously has lots of "I" friends. Keep exploring, but just be yourself. "I" wouldn't want it any other way! :)
Hi Erin! I'm so excited that you are blogging!
Coincidentally, my friend Ellen was also blogging about Myers-Briggs today. It is really interesting to learn how to relate to people by their personality type. By the way, I'm an INFJ.
-Amy
http://lifebycandlelight.blogspot.com
Thanks for the linkage. What's the "type" of person who cringes at being named a "type"? That's what I am. :-)
You are going to love an event coming up where four men present to women leaders about how to communicate with men. I will post back here when details are set.
My two cents: communication styles(i.e.; I-E) are not exclusive to groups like men and women. Great communicators and leaders inspire cross sex. Many successful women I have interviewed in the past are great communicators based on listening and intuition...they tend to adapt better than men as well I notice.
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